2008-05-01 - all we need to be knowing about my latest trip to mexico 2008-04-22 - mujeres 4eves 2008-03-18 - yeah I am 10% trixie so what 2008-02-15 - honestly, really more drama 2008-01-09 - 08 is already great 2008-01-07 - now, diarylanding to you live 2008-01-07 - now, diarylanding to you live 2007-12-26 - el-oh-el-a lo-la 2007-09-05 - kawrnfest & such 2007-08-08 - who is sporty spice, guys? 2007-07-13 - pretty sure I am too old for this. all of it. 2007-05-23 - violation 2007-05-23 - fruit feet 2007-05-21 - trying to avoid that long 3+months message 2007-05-21 - just keeping the 3+ months error message away 2007-05-21 - just keeping the 3+ months error message away 2007-03-19 - mucho travelo 2007-02-27 - second verse, same as the first--again 2007-02-02 - torture song 2007-01-29 - if for just a little bit of bravery 2007-01-01 - another year, more buh 2006-12-29 - it's more like a pet than a hairdo 2006-12-26 - please hurry beach 2006-11-29 - ehn ehn 2006-11-19 - her name is Franchesca 2006-11-13 - mewxico 2006-11-09 - we got the senate 2006-10-17 - hoarking my guts out 2006-09-30 - so dronk & sad for updating 2006-09-08 - they made me but I would've been sad if I hadn't tried 2006-08-31 - only thing that has not changed is my hair 2006-08-06 - lollapanoencores 2006-07-29 - way to be sweaty awesome 2006-07-27 - le updateo 2006-07-09 - it is me, v. 2.0 2006-07-05 - ayedeeyos 2006-07-04 - sticky 4th not yay 2006-06-20 - Pavement! The Kidz Bop Kid! B.O.B! Dre! Ice Cube! 2006-06-09 - grode. 2006-05-17 - isla 2006-05-05 - cinco de hola aloha 2006-04-20 - when you're walking to the Walgreens for gum and you just keep walking across the street to Field's. 2006-04-15 - el updateo 2006-03-29 - it is all the same, you know? 2006-03-21 - worms in my brain 2006-02-28 - dahr...OK REN! 2006-02-21 - still with the water! 2006-02-20 - no agua at my new casa 2006-02-13 - it's really real! mexico! 2006-02-08 - new home! go Bulls! 2006-02-03 - holla 2006-02-01 - quality, not quantity 2006-01-11 - a pair of nice things 2006-01-05 - this is the year 2005-12-28 - ho ho ho'in' 2005-12-23 - please make it stop 2005-12-23 - i've got the spirit 2005-12-22 - xmas failure 2005-12-09 - not the first time I've had to say this 2005-12-07 - it figures 2005-12-01 - no maternal instinct whatsoever 2005-11-29 - ham sammy 2005-11-28 - pile on the stress, why don't you 2005-11-22 - Here’s to too much of everything, at all times. 2005-11-15 - it's all strange 2005-11-10 - he'd be the best dad 2005-11-08 - Just be open to it, dude 2005-11-04 - I bet bilbys can't go to the bar 2005-11-04 - I bet bilbys can 2005-11-04 - I bet bilbys can 2005-11-02 - the pastimes of a teenager 2005-10-27 - don't look at the guy from that we are scientists band who has the moustache. you will go blind from fright. 2005-10-26 - at this point, I'm considering constructing a treehouse. just to have my own space 2005-10-21 - curses 2005-10-18 - adios Viola pup 2005-10-18 - I'm sure you were(n't) wondering 2005-10-13 - dude looks like a lady 2005-10-12 - sout'side represent 2005-10-07 - get a horse, call it barry 2005-10-06 - potential! 2005-10-06 - you got it, dude 2005-10-05 - so tonight I clean like a mofe 2005-10-03 - shoes & 'dos 2005-10-03 - at least there's work to come to b/c I don't have much else to do or go to 2005-09-29 - 2 shows and a psychic lady 2005-09-28 - it's feeling more twillight zone every day 2005-09-27 - wiped and uninspired 2005-09-22 - i-runny 2005-09-21 - all my dreams come true 2005-09-15 - hearing the hearing 2005-09-14 - it's almost never too early for tragedy humor 2005-09-08 - flamethrower's endurance 2005-09-02 - take a picture, it lasts longer 2005-08-30 - no more cubs games that matter. booooo. 2005-08-26 - food fight & ldw 2005-08-25 - how can I be upset about something I really didn't care about anyway? leave it to me to do it, though 2005-08-22 - Iowa! Fuck yeah! 2005-08-18 - all the funnel cakes and midwestern goodness you can handle 2005-08-11 - I like the part in TKO where they go oh! oh! 2005-08-08 - I was snowed in 2 days in high school with my then boyfriend at his house. this was all we listened to. 2005-08-08 - yay memories 2005-08-04 - nothing much 2005-08-03 - worst case scenario finds me and me cats, all with hobo bindles, coming TO YOUR TOWN 2005-07-27 - I owe it all to the stars 2005-07-26 - please for normalcy 2005-07-20 - no pain, no gain 2005-07-19 - I need pills 2005-07-13 - aliens will come soon 2005-07-13 - laters ihatebabies 2005-07-12 - I think they were trying to save me 2005-07-11 - smalltown, USA 2005 2005-07-05 - heart america, your rights 2005-06-29 - game tag 2005-06-27 - doesn't take much 2005-06-24 - proselytizing. deal with it. 2005-06-23 - summer list 2005-06-21 - katie's missing days 2005-06-18 - waiting for the new Son Volt CD to burn so here you go 2005-06-13 - it really is a wonder what I do in the winter--game 5 2005-06-10 - this hazy hotness makes me so happy 2005-06-07 - grump, kvetch, gripe 2005-05-19 - d-town represent 2005-05-16 - prolly not for boys 2005-05-06 - I'll always have the monkeys 2005-05-03 - yee haw 2005-04-27 - look kids! there's big ben! 2005-04-13 - oooh la la lala & something london-sounding 2005-04-05 - FETUS, OUT 2005-03-17 - "happy st. phatty's day" a wise man once told me. this morning. 2005-03-15 - spring sprung & ming mong 2005-03-10 - spazzes 2005-03-09 - the latest 2005-03-02 - lost 2005-02-28 - on the way to an Oscar party last night... 2005-02-26 - getting up early like old ladies 2005-02-23 - bangers and bulls 2005-02-14 - it's just a day of conflicting expectations is all 2005-02-11 - the robot does as the robot is told 2005-02-08 - in the last 10 days 2005-01-29 - b/c abandonded steel mills can be DANGEROUS and SCARY and also wacko jacko came from there so it can't be safe. 2005-01-26 - paging dr. freud 2005-01-26 - just tell me I'm doing ok and it's all gonna be fine 2005-01-22 - WWGD if given the opportunity 2005-01-18 - it's so silly, I know 2005-01-17 - hasta pasta 2005-01-14 - cold as hell but Imma meet the cubbies! 2005-01-12 - also visibility is .2 mile. I can't see across the river, even. 2005-01-10 - they made my ass look like I had one but nothing else 2005-01-06 - this is all I got 2004-12-29 - look who's back 2004-12-17 - xmas 04 where's everbody gone 2004-11-28 - oh my mawd! 2004-11-18 - definitely didn't have enough to drink to pull this move and blame it on the beer 2004-11-16 - I hate these description things 2004-11-15 - moving the prego 2004-11-15 - moving the prego 2004-11-12 - big events, little week 2004-11-05 - in denial about being in denial 2004-11-03 - you want something to fear? I'll show you these next 4 years. 2004-11-03 - how do you say jihad in Amurhican? 2004-10-29 - and he just let's this go on. it's funny. 2004-10-26 - em wooed me 2004-10-25 - I've got a dozen more where that came from 2004-10-20 - I wanna make out with peapod 2004-10-12 - at least someone's super happy 2004-10-07 - drivin' dell 2004-10-05 - gag me with a spoon 2004-10-04 - always waiting until next year. 2004-10-01 - 2 fouls, much harm. 2004-09-27 - leave me alone already you clingy co-workers 2004-09-22 - male! models! 2004-09-14 - chewie/oscar @ ACS! 2004-09-14 - 4 games, 8 days. Don’t stop to ‘til you get enough! 2004-09-09 - office haikus (heavy on the killing edition) 2004-09-08 - please me, appease me, tease me 2004-09-02 - I'm only in 8th grade...Are you my baby's daddy? 2004-08-27 - thieves in the cubeland (to the tune of bombs over baghdad, please) 2004-08-20 - open for biz 2004-08-20 - open for biz 2004-08-17 - corn (dogs & on the cob), rides, and beer 2004-08-13 - oh yeah, iowa 2004-08-12 - floodpants job 2004-08-09 - taste the secret 2004-08-05 - watching out for falling houses 2004-08-04 - Darla is a service monkey who helps him with everything from cooking and opening drawers, to cheering him up by combing his hair. 2004-08-03 - safe at the bottom of the stairs 2004-07-29 - whites of eyes, heart of newt 2004-07-26 - you know it's bad when I am missing Obama speak on the TV at the DNC 2004-07-12 - I'm trying to update more/again. 2004-07-08 - the god squad 2004-07-06 - snap, crackle, cackle 2004-06-30 - animals over humans 2004-06-19 - he is so adorable 2004-06-17 - the kids meet at stocks and blondes 2004-06-11 - what has/will become of me 2004-06-08 - on baseball break for two weeks 2004-06-02 - I bet she was the handjob queen in h.s. 2004-05-28 - nanner 2004-05-28 - is that a zombie on the couch 2004-05-21 - eggs and whorish dolls 2004-05-20 - I heart you summer 2004-05-17 - gag me with a trojan 2004-05-14 - it's more like a swift kick in the pants than anything 2004-05-11 - Now is when I geek out 2004-05-10 - kitten killing 2004-05-02 - the last time I do that 2004-04-28 - the only thing weird was seeing my friendster profile say I am actually 27 2004-04-26 - oh and it's my birthday tomorrow yaaay! 2004-04-22 - and to think I had hundreds of posters of him hanging all over my bedroom 2004-04-21 - not much lately 2004-04-12 - easter drunky 2004-04-06 - I'm 'nna get real skanky and shit 2004-04-03 - it's a pretty saturday 2004-03-30 - spring training 2004 2004-03-21 - cat bite fever 2004-03-20 - ghetto hands 2004-03-17 - can lit 2004-03-15 - and I will have no regrets 2004-03-10 - also maintaining my sanity, the dreamy matthew on idol. hot for teacher, yes I am 2004-03-07 - a rubber mask and a hat would really speed the process up 2004-03-06 - so much beer 2004-03-03 - my croonin' fake tv beau 2004-03-02 - adios transportation 2004-02-27 - what next? a u.f.o. sighting? 2004-02-24 - monsters in my closet 2004-02-22 - entertain me always! or I get bored! 2004-02-20 - skipping straight to the weekend and pretending all this nonsense about work didn't exist would be good 2004-02-19 - an injured racehorce 2004-02-18 - no breaks. ever. 2004-02-15 - mcvalentine's (g)love 2004-02-11 - all the cats in the apartment go meeyoow, meeeyooow, meeeeeeeyow 2004-02-09 - I'll show you the business you pee-smeller 2004-02-08 - can't come soon enough 2004-02-05 - floor-lafel 2004-02-04 - head cheese 2004-01-31 - the interswift has introduced me to more issues than I can shake a stick at 2004-01-29 - this must be what it is like to find true love 2004-01-28 - wipeout. 18 points 2004-01-25 - record time greek blessing 2004-01-24 - last wedding for a while, please 2004-01-20 - mwah! 2004-01-20 - it's just one measly caucus 2004-01-18 - why weren't boys like this when I was 17? 2004-01-17 - I will blame the smell of smoke in my apartment on the Boy 2004-01-15 - my suckness is better than yours 2004-01-14 - had I known this from the start, I would've eaten my arm instead 2004-01-13 - you are my density 2004-01-11 - maybe I'm just ahead of my time 2004-01-09 - dead jalopy 2004-01-07 - ugh, this day! 2004-01-06 - you are so hot, braxton 2004-01-04 - to do! 2004-01-02 - why do I have to predict sucky crap like this and not like, the winning Powerball numbers? 2003-12-31 - and in the end, it's all good 2003-12-30 - I think I broke my boob. 2003-12-28 - oh holy maize 2003-12-21 - the big winner 2003-12-19 - all I have to offer in the way of gifts is my patience. it's hardly wrapable. 2003-12-18 - why can't I just see her 3 or 4 times a year like the rest of my friends instead 363 or 364 times a year? 2003-12-14 - no more dresses no more chores, no more mean e-mail from the bride 2003-12-11 - What’s grosser than gross? 2003-12-09 - I'm the DJ and you're the wrapper 2003-12-07 - the holidays are all good by me 2003-12-04 - I'd take the apartment and tell him to suck it up 2003-12-03 - no more helping out for a while 2003-11-30 - lesson in asking for help 2003-11-28 - sickey turkeypants 2003-11-26 - the turkey says: loodle loodle 2003-11-21 - I need more. 2003-11-18 - even crack whores get props. sheesh. 2003-11-11 - lunch bird 2003-11-10 - thank you bushmills 2003-11-10 - she sees little people 2003-11-08 - ounces and ounces of feline 2003-11-07 - take me down to the paradise (monkey) city 2003-11-05 - insaneo pants. 2003-11-04 - the only person who can save me now is lorelai gilmore. 2003-11-01 - spookalooooook 2003-10-31 - maybe I will go as a crack whore 2003-10-30 - mom's office trick 2003-10-29 - if they let you smoke at your desk, all my problems would be solved 2003-10-26 - turns out I'm not as immature as I thought 2003-10-22 - it makes sense. I mean, they have to get around somehow. it's bound to happen sometimes. 2003-10-20 - alley dog 2003-10-19 - it's a regular sunday, I guess 2003-10-16 - how's that for a cocktease? jesus. 2003-10-15 - not for the elderly or faint-hearted 2003-10-11 - jake could be your pal 2003-10-10 - ghoulihan's 2003-10-07 - wow 2003-10-06 - pumpkin bumpkins 2003-10-01 - more baseball crap you have no interest in 2003-09-30 - the tang and playoffs 2003-09-27 - hey! hey! cubs win! 2003-09-26 - damn you, equinox 2003-09-25 - ...but cry out loud, he’s ONLY CAT! 2003-09-24 - hey tubs! 2003-09-23 - a little of this, a little of that 2003-09-21 - peanut butter & pierogue time? 2003-09-17 - Ruby, I wish we could have a kaffeeklatsch about this. 2003-09-15 - hot action at the shelter 2003-09-13 - meat the pizzles 2003-09-12 - well, what is comes down to, is the chickens are the cops 2003-09-11 - 9/11 rotmouth 2003-09-09 - patch n' bitch 2003-09-08 - peeking inbreds 2003-09-05 - never scoff at days off! 2003-09-03 - poor little pukey 2003-08-31 - day 1 at the ACS 2003-08-29 - it's the no boss surprise 2003-08-28 - who ordered the furry tongue and balloon head? 2003-08-27 - if my other first million ideas don't work out 2003-08-26 - slacker bridesmaid 2003-08-26 - crazy rain peeps 2003-08-25 - banana feet and elevator mishaps 2003-08-23 - mai ramona 2003-08-22 - monkey bored 2003-08-21 - oh hell yeah 2003-08-21 - rubber baby busted shoes 2003-08-19 - la cena 2003-08-19 - I got it! I got it! 2003-08-19 - pirate grub 2003-08-18 - oh but watch out for the dog crap when you're shoeless 2003-08-13 - we shouldn't have to suffer b/c your sitter is at sleepaway camp 2003-08-12 - they like us! they really like us! 2003-08-11 - brothers and beds 2003-08-08 - I bet he's at a Starbucks right now 2003-08-08 - gutter rat 2003-08-07 - he is such a worm. more waiting. 2003-08-06 - patch woes 2003-08-05 - I know you are but what am I? 2003-08-05 - The hostess should not drink more than her guests. 2003-08-04 - how many times can VH1 play Showgirls in one weekend? 2003-07-31 - denied at the alley 2003-07-30 - zooming into 1999 2003-07-24 - in dusty we trusty 2003-07-23 - like dumplings in your sweatshirt pouch pocket 2003-07-22 - an exercise in links 2003-07-21 - um, but I think they're gonna end up being moths 2003-07-17 - where my girls at? 2003-07-17 - and the password is: pirate 2003-07-16 - hey that old lady's a pusher 2003-07-14 - surprise forks 2003-07-11 - fuck this noise, I tell you what 2003-07-09 - so come on down to dale's den 2003-07-08 - thank you diaryland. you are the diary I never kept. 2003-07-07 - dependence day 2003 2003-07-03 - jaerb vs. me 2003-07-02 - if it's good enough for peggy sue 2003-07-01 - just wastin' time until I gotta bust out the broom 2003-06-30 - I am your zebra, you are my computer tutor 2003-06-27 - you coulda had 3 grand slams today, sosa, you jerk 2003-06-25 - lunchtime crisper 2003-06-25 - she has been silenced 2003-06-24 - slowly take a deep breath in...and...exhale 2003-06-24 - this is all poor me and shit. you need not waste your time reading. 2003-06-20 - what friendster has done for me. 2003-06-17 - I bet I can't do this anyway. 2003-06-13 - I still don't get it 2003-06-11 - sux park 2003-06-09 - upper-respiratory my ass! 299, punk! 2003-06-06 - maybe he was the bar mascot 2003-06-05 - fielding compliments, by gretl 2003-06-04 - scenester.com 2003-06-04 - life goes on and on 2003-06-03 - please for spring 2003-06-02 - a circus tent would look better 2003-06-02 - just like dylan and brenda 2003-06-02 - oh and it was money day on Malcom, too. awesome! 2003-05-30 - made-up monkeys 2003-05-29 - This is a dear chicken transformation set 2003-05-29 - mumus 4 u they should call it 2003-05-28 - and lastly 2003-05-28 - I know something you don't know. Oh wait, but you do now. 2003-05-27 - what's the antedote for getting the babies? 2003-05-23 - professor confessor 2003-05-22 - monkey helper 2003-05-22 - panamania 2003-05-19 - This update brought to you courtesy of Sanity Savers. 2003-05-14 - on second thought... 2003-05-14 - she wants to have kids right away, too. eeek. 2003-05-12 - late shows, making out, $3 skirts. 2003-05-08 - if you loved me, you'd get me this doggie 2003-05-07 - chopchop! 2003-05-07 - hair anxiety 2003-05-06 - my whole family is in meat 2003-05-06 - it'll never be the year 2003-05-05 - my horse didn't win but I like birds now 2003-05-01 - still getting me through the day 2003-05-01 - whatever gets you through the day 2003-05-01 - and another thing 2003-05-01 - Desperately in need of a poker face. 2003-04-30 - Take the wedding ring to the pawn shop and use the money for booze. 2003-04-30 - the only good baby is a monkey baby. see???!!! 2003-04-29 - I think a good baby shower game would be "drop-kick baby's new toys" 2003-04-28 - a group of cops is called a barbeque 2003-04-25 - adios, 2214 2003-04-24 - jesus, link stuff much? 2003-04-22 - no more clown shoes 2003-04-22 - kittens and monkeys and cookies with frosting. that's what I know about. 2003-04-21 - easter moon 2003-04-18 - ding dong eve. 2003-04-16 - forever making like an old lady and missing the cat talk 2003-04-15 - dangerously close to an icky Precious Moments kind of moment 2003-04-14 - if I call there, they will tell me 2003-04-11 - welcome to gretlville, where every day is Nap Day. 2003-04-10 - please! I was so reading Kafka and listening to Bach! 2003-04-09 - walk the walk, dude. 2003-04-09 - wholihan's. 2003-04-08 - this is really boring but I am tired of hearing about fruit and meat 2003-04-07 - I think this could be their year! 2003-04-04 - it's the 2711! domino, beeyotch! 2003-04-02 - non-hormone-related suck times 2003-04-01 - hey pretty pretty! 2003-03-31 - git yr love on 2003-03-28 - the fuzz taxi 2003-03-25 - my cats will be so pissed if we have to live in a van down by the river 2003-03-24 - me and the cruiser 2003-03-24 - I know you guys love it when I talk about my period 2003-03-20 - he lives to tell 2003-03-20 - holy! it let me add something! 2003-03-17 - saint what day? whatever. 2003-03-13 - mentionable unmentionables 2003-03-12 - palak veneer 2003-03-11 - testing the fashion waters 2003-03-10 - tired = I am the suck 2003-03-07 - I heart potato sacks 2003-03-06 - words that are like treats 2003-03-04 - he'll do yr taxes and save you from eternal damnation 2003-02-28 - almost even in the barfing department 2003-02-27 - yeah, sundaygirl, yeah. picture picture, neighbor. 2003-02-26 - his head is shaped like a wedge of cheese they say, no? 2003-02-26 - totally not kidding about d-land being the only thing I have to do today 2003-02-26 - for hire: busty, booze-chugging, chain-smoking smartass. 2003-02-25 - the dream plan, stan 2003-02-25 - the only place it will be crowded is in my head 2003-02-24 - I'd reckon I drank the equivalent of a shitload of booze this weekend 2003-02-20 - maxi bad 2003-02-20 - stuart smalley, you're my hero! 2003-02-17 - dude can shut his pie hole anytime, thanks 2003-02-14 - caving just a little 2003-02-13 - mmm...prolly have to be born into it 2003-02-13 - take a chill pill, y'all 2003-02-11 - still rank, y'all 2003-02-11 - makin' good 2003-02-11 - sleepy greaseball 2003-02-10 - crabbycakes 2003-02-07 - a rose is a rose is a dumb 2003-02-06 - would you believe Slim Goodbody was my childhood hero? 2003-02-03 - why I did this entry instead of going the fuck home is beyond me 2003-01-30 - hee haw 2003-01-29 - I am so bored so this is like stew. 2003-01-28 - here's to bikes and skirts and groundouts 2003-01-27 - city hall and the roller rink = where it's at 2003-01-24 - hauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu! 2003-01-22 - is it really so much to ask? 2003-01-21 - this is only a test 2003-01-20 - done being wonky for a little bit 2003-01-16 - my non-Mads co-workers would all select the latter 2003-01-15 - clarification nation 2003-01-14 - blah suck blah 2003-01-13 - shine my shoes, brush my hair 2003-01-10 - won't you take me to...? 2003-01-09 - 15 pieces my ass! 2003-01-08 - they don't know that I know, so ssshhh! 2003-01-07 - I think I work on the set of The Brady Bunch 2003-01-05 - I can't handle a 5-day work week 2003-01-03 - don't do it, gretl. 2003-01-02 - Chucking Cheez-It 2002-12-30 - Real concerns and true confessions. 2002-12-27 - Periodically periodic. 2002-12-26 - sounding off: facial hair 2002-12-26 - holiday boo-hoo's and shit 2002-12-18 - tittietown. I mean, titletown. 2002-12-17 - it must be this yellow sweater or sumthin' 2002-12-13 - like molasses in January – gah! 2002-12-12 - day of the perma-blush 2002-12-11 - eat a stick. 2002-12-11 - Two, two, two entries in one! 2002-12-06 - Ooops! Should I leave them a note? 2002-12-05 - she is totally serious about this invite 2002-12-05 - Cover Girl and Lee press-on? 2002-12-04 - it's Wednesday again 2002-12-03 - dude's on my last one 2002-12-02 - point/counterpoint 2002-12-02 - all your dreams come true 2002-11-27 - danke and junk 2002-11-26 - at least pick up the phone. 2002-11-25 - literal assclown 2002-11-25 - surrender monkeys 2002-11-22 - bender. b-e-n-d-e-r. bender. 2002-11-22 - bender. b-e-n-d-e-r. bender. 2002-11-21 - drunkaoke. 2002-11-19 - cover-up 2002-11-19 - the monkey bar listings 2002-11-14 - peanut butter and pickle 2002-11-13 - girl talk 2002-11-11 - ...songs that just, you know, rock the hardest. 2002-11-08 - bit o' advice, like bit 'o honey 2002-11-07 - bonsai! and the 5-0! 2002-11-06 - There’s a reason I’m not a hairdresser. 2002-11-05 - maybe I won't have to quit my job and work at mcdonald's!! 2002-11-05 - no flow 2002-11-04 - All ya’ll suckas don’t know what yr missing 2002-10-31 - just like I'm tired as shit 2002-10-30 - a tribute 2002-10-29 - like, duh. I know this. 2002-10-25 - oooooh..cold and... 2002-10-24 - big, fat crybaby. that's me! 2002-10-24 - hibernation commencement 2002-10-17 - use this word in a sentence - cock-blocked. GO! 2002-10-16 - LP is out $100 and ooh, look! a doppelgänger! 2002-10-11 - fun with online banking 2002-10-11 - if only my job was to rock it like them 2002-10-10 - i like gross stuff 2002-10-09 - all hail ladypete! 2002-10-07 - lighten up - it's a party goddammit 2002-10-04 - I swear I am a good worker mostly. 2002-10-04 - because working today is very hard! 2002-10-04 - It really won’t kill you. 2002-10-03 - Prêt-à-Porter 2002-10-02 - sometimes I'm quite the ungrateful bitch 2002-10-02 - old times are new again 2002-09-27 - today is my last day 2002-09-26 - oh hell no! 2002-09-24 - stunts like this assure me a place in karmic hell. 2002-09-23 - i swear someday i will write about something other than my boobs 2002-09-19 - hostess with the mostest alcoholess 2002-09-16 - gracias senor. 2002-09-13 - I think maybe today I'll QUIT! 2002-09-13 - all this and a drunken a.m. bus ride home, too. 2002-09-11 - there's nothing I can say 2002-09-05 - chewing on... 2002-09-05 - just checking in 2002-08-30 - just because it's free doesn't make it right 2002-08-27 - i'll take things that suck for $100 please, alex 2002-08-23 - bobbing 2002-08-22 - boys go to jupiter to get more stupider 2002-08-20 - le rock! 2002-08-16 - bigwig baseball 2002-08-07 - one wedding and a psycho 2002-08-01 - the jig is up 2002-07-30 - totally ganked 2002-07-29 - on guard! 2002-07-26 - what is my major malfunction? 2002-07-24 - workday prattle 2002-07-22 - hometown ho-hum 2002-07-18 - practice! 2002-07-12 - sousy 2002-06-27 - what? holy! unh. 2002-07-05 - quickly now! 2002-06-28 - mi novio 2002-06-27 - just chill. i'm only curious. 2002-06-27 - my new boss & miller lite 2002-06-26 - zzzzzzzzzzzz...... 2002-06-25 - wait, no. they have to know! 2002-06-21 - I'll get you my pretty! And yr little dog, too! 2002-06-20 - hoots 2002-06-19 - No, I wouldn’t care for any girl on girl action, thanks. 2002-06-17 - miss cleo ghetto style 2002-06-17 - Shizzle my nipple 2002-06-14 - phony baloney 2002-06-14 - i went to nyc and all i got was this wretched cough 2002-06-06 - go suck a nest egg 2002-06-04 - i love it when things seem like they are from the onion but really aren't 2002-06-03 - more self-diagnosis 2002-05-31 - bombs and boobs 2002-05-29 - all you suckas, take note! 2002-05-28 - planes, trains and automobiles. 2002-05-24 - i was only joking when i said i was working today 2002-05-24 - the mechanics of capri pants 2002-05-23 - I have pms and today I wonder if dating isn’t a bunch of bunk. 2002-05-22 - pea heads and drunken Trixie Males 2002-05-20 - i am like way too close to having stinky ren mouth 2002-05-17 - the space is glacial 2002-05-17 - someone get this girl a thesaurus! 2002-05-16 - this one goes out to the Mads 2002-05-13 - in my collages i make 2002-05-10 - sticky fingers 2002-05-10 - can ____ come out and play? 2002-05-09 - i wanna be sedated 2002-05-07 - watch your mouth! 2002-05-07 - Available for weddings, bat mitzvahs and graduations 2002-05-06 - cheers! 2002-05-03 - home for the non-traditional holidays 2002-05-02 - i'm so excited/scared! 2002-05-01 - tricks 2002-04-30 - hey juniors....what's yr number?! 2002-04-29 - poseurs and tats 2002-04-26 - so ungrateful 2002-04-25 - it's the new zoo revue, pt. II! 2002-04-25 - it's the new zoo revue! 2002-04-23 - sometimes...when I get nervous...I stick my hands... 2002-04-22 - I could not have been more surprised if I woke up this morning with Bob Barker 2002-04-19 - now I know my chicken and Jesus 2002-04-17 - Listy McDaniel 2002-04-16 - i never was good at science, but I could've seen this a mile away 2002-04-15 - just be thankful I'm wearing undies 2002-04-11 - subconscious gutter mind 2002-04-10 - besties 2002-04-09 - all things creepy 2002-04-06 - top 10 worst songs to put on a mix tape 2002-04-05 - you laugh, but this really is a good idea 2002-04-05 - A one, a two, a three...! 2002-04-04 - all things 80s and the welcome mat scandal 2002-04-02 - they don't die, they multiply! 2002-04-01 - dumpy daphne, or gretl uses "covet" a lot 2002-03-27 - humpday musings 2002-03-26 - my disk is full 2002-03-22 - so sorry for all of that gushing 2002-03-22 - what's yer take on...? 2002-03-21 - retiring my cane 2002-03-20 - I wouldn't sit so close if I were you 2002-03-19 - heh. 2002-03-19 - xoxo to LP and Mads 2002-03-18 - all the cops in the donut shops say... 2002-03-18 - crafty grrl gives the shaft. hee haw. 2002-03-15 - please do not! 2002-03-14 - a bisket, a basket 2002-03-12 - dude, it's so my dream day. 2002-03-11 - bark bark! 2002-03-08 - the greatest show on earth 2002-03-07 - I'm taking donations. of both the monetary and flesh varieties 2002-03-06 - LP! LP! LP! 2002-03-05 - suggestions given to box at work: 2002-03-04 - lil' poker thing 2002-03-01 - in like a lamb... 2002-02-28 - can today be a do over? 2002-02-27 - our genius prezzie does it again 2002-02-26 - it's not my fault 2002-02-25 - I have roller-skating madness 2002-02-22 - feelin' feisty 2002-02-21 - suck it 2002-02-19 - i heart Easy Mac 2002-02-18 - Lobby the lobster 2002-02-14 - i am bursting with valentine's day-ness 2002-02-14 - broke in the bank, rich in the heart. awwww... 2002-02-13 - hmmmm... 2002-02-11 - sourpuss entry #568 2002-02-08 - it's a party! in my pants, that is. 2002-02-07 - me take quiz 2002-02-06 - the baby is mine 2002-02-05 - I am Crabby McCrabber 2002-02-01 - division is next...damen is next...western is next... 2002-01-29 - return of the gretl mack 2002-01-22 - where is Subliminal Man when I need him? 2002-01-21 - All for the love of Dunkin’ Donuts coffee 2002-01-18 - entry of dumbness 2002-01-16 - rat-a-tat-tat 2002-01-15 - i know my chicken! 2002-01-14 - two things that they like in Wisconsin are porn and brett favre. 2002-01-11 - a Buddhist saying 2002-01-08 - i sweat a lot and eat treats 2002-01-07 - I thought I'd progressed past this junk 2002-01-04 - *gasp* I really am my mother, aren't I? 2002-01-03 - fresh new year, fresh new panties 2001-12-31 - new year's eve is a bunch of bunk 2001-12-28 - stench 2001-12-27 - if I ran this place 2001-12-26 - you gotta know I'm lonely and bored when I'm reporting on my gum. 2001-12-24 - all I want for x-mas 2001-12-20 - it's all about the Eclipse gum after a night like this 2001-12-18 - bling bling and other nonsense from 2001 2001-12-10 - the weekend my self esteem ate it 2001-12-06 - do me jimmy. you, too, gracie. 2001-12-05 - never magna cum laude, you dirty rat bird 2001-12-03 - here's me trying to mail something 2001-12-03 - our eggsnog party 2001-11-30 - notify this, sucka 2001-11-30 - my life is not unlike the Neighborhood of Make Believe 2001-11-29 - how many words? 2001-11-28 - really, my life isn't always a poorly written comedy on the WB 2001-11-26 - cornucopia…of love. oooooo, oooooo, oooooo. 2001-11-21 - requisite turkey time thanks 2001-11-20 - put this in your alien baby and smoke it 2001-11-20 - fun with poultry 2001-11-19 - family ties 2001-11-14 - pastry pasties 2001-11-08 - going to the gym makes you have emotional dreams 2001-11-07 - i wonder if he was as disturbed by my effort to make a point as i was 2001-11-05 - on sale now, the brand new 2002 model gretl 2001-11-01 - jeans are neither costume nor proper clubbing attire 2001-10-30 - this cat's a dolt, man 2001-10-26 - downy clowny, phrasing courtesy of mads 2001-10-18 - pop tart 2001-10-16 - dahr. 2001-10-09 - simma don nah! 2001-10-09 - math and leftovers 2001-10-08 - someone called me a fool part II 2001-10-08 - someone called me a fool 2001-09-19 - My right eye 2001-09-10 - Beer, dogs and boys. September 7, 2001 - don't want no short *#%^ man September 4 - breakout bessie August 30 - Hey Sammy! Hit it here!!! August 27 - magic is sexy. very, very sexy. August 20, 2001 - you too can do interpretive dance at any bar you choose. August 17 - haunts and family August 15, evening - Off the Wall, too. August 14 - pay to play August 7, 2001 - I got laid. off. July 27, 2001 - Ask a Trixie Expert July 25, 2001 - huh? I don't get it July 25, 2001 - Skee-lo, gretl style July 23, 2001 - Sheraton, the sequel or gretl drops names Friday - Alert! July 18, 2001 - The Get Real World. July 16, 2001 - groove is in these hearts July 16, 2001 - if you loved me-- July 12, 2001 - Chester, the ice cream molester July 11, 2001 - You- out of my neighborhood! July 10, 2001 - this is like, so weird. July 10, 2001 - heh, heh....snort. 2001-07-09 - art imitates life- 2001-07-09 - we rawked it so hard. July 6, 2001 - blah, blah, blah....CLICK! more on July 5 - d i g still, still, still July 5th - whatever Still, still July 5 - shut up. today - banter Still July 5 - riddle me this... July 5, 2001 - 100 bottles of Stoli on the wall, 100 bottles of Stoli... July 3, 2001 - fe·ro·cious·ness later in the day on 7/2/01 - daisy vision, or I heart Milla. July 2, 2001 - picnicking with movie stars June 28, 2001 - I have the mental droppies today. June 27, 2001 - today is the day of blah. June 26, 2001 - bling. June 25, 2001 - avoid wearing shoes at work & another crush June 22, 2001 - All you need is someone to play Fort with you. June 21, 2001 - Who..? Me? June 20, 2001 - gretl's Very own V-day June 19, 2001 - ladies who lunch June 18, 2001 - the day of a million entries June 18, 2001 - Can someone please elaborate on this? June 18, 2001 - Meet gretl Mac June 15, 2001 - awards are dumb June 14, 2001 - additive-free girl June 14, 2001 - always a bridesmaid, never a bride June 13, 2001 - It ain't the heat, it's the...well, you know. June 13, 2001 - inanest entry ever June 12, 2001 - If you think you're Cuban, you're really just drunk. June 11, 2001 - crush #873 June 11, 2001 - can't not watch June 8, 2001 - mmmm....rivers and johnny, too June 8, 2001 - I'm not where the party's at June 6, 2001 - Monkey Q. Exboyfriend June 6, 2001 - I'd like to thank the Academy June 6, 2001 - kreem and suga June 4, 2001 - SWF seeks a way out of here June 1, 2001 - Spelling Bee May 31, 2001 - I want to be something when I grow up May 30, 2001 - g'bye May 30, 2001 - I can't stop and you can't make me May 29, 2001 - tee-yare-uh May 23, 2001 - You can get with this, or you can get with that May 23, 2001 - Insert clever title here May 22, 2001 - munkee May 22, 2001 - suck May 18, 2001 - My Sephora experience May 18, 2001 - British invasion May 17, 2001 - Neighborhood of make-believe May 17, 2001 - spicer May 17, 2001 - starfucker May 15, 2001 - freak May 14, 2001 - old times May 11, 2001 - On the rocks May 8, 2001 - I am empty as a 5th grade boy May 7, 2001 - We take all sorts May 7, 2001 - Panda Lake Winfrey May 3, 2001 - My first cyber-friend May 3, 2001 - In a bed not my own May 2, 2001 - FREE/free May 2, 2001 - cherry pop